135lbs and counting...

I can run a block now. No inhaler thank you very much, and I'm down to a regular weight. Now if I can just lose enough to get my leg above my head again without getting my ass in the way.

The little tub of Lard that couldn't

I can't climb stairs, I can't run past my next door neighbor's house, I can't pay my rent, I can't put gas in my car, I can't look at myself in the mirror, I can't lift my leg above the ottoman, i still cry when i eat, I miss being full blast anorexic, I miss the discipline, I miss going to class, I miss coming home sore, I miss being 115lbs, I miss not worrying about whether or not buying this can of soup will put my account into overdraft, and if you think im kidding or exaggerating ask one of my friends...oh wait....

Five years without God

Pray you to me every chance that you can
Pray you to me every chance that you can

Asking forgiveness
begging to save your skin
But left wandering in fear
Will it be death or a routine
wrist slapping

Confusion in fusion with
bone dry love
Battered and shattered you
lay her down gently
Violent fucker
sinful man
finding safe haven is hard for the cad

But warm arms will welcome you back
Given the chance he will
bring you to him

Though I claim to believe
I am hard pressed to be kind

Mindful to the faults of a man
I cross myself over, and over, and
over again

Lord, Lord
Hosanas and haleluias
Lord, Lord
I'm doing the best that I can

You ask me to stay
channel the love
Little black and white conduits
Sisters and brothers and Fathers
pray to dead mothers above
Love me in death and I'll love you in life
and we pray
Wanting to leave but I think I'll be damned
so I stay

You ask me to come
And I'm longing to go
But the bells in the church tower
are tolling for me

You ask me to come
And I'm begging to go
But the bells in the church tower
are tolling you know.

----------------

i should buy more bubbles

"A slinky a slinky
what a wonderful toy
a slinky a slinky
its fun for a girl and a boy"

Arent slinkies fun? Actually I found my favorite yo-yo the other day but i couldnt think of a yo-yo song. i love my yo-yo. of course now that just makes me think of when my brother used to walk around the house singing,

"Slinky a slinky
its one heck of a toy
A slinky a slinky
is sharp and will castrate a boy"

yea for yo-yos!

Bowling techniques

little girls that bowl are cute.

Games are metaphors......

I think bowling is a metaphor for life........

I think that' s what I'm supposed to say since i went bowling today and everyone always has some story about how they think that whatever they did that day is a metaphor for life.......maybe because it IS life? Bowling is not a "metaphor for life.... IT IS LIFE!!! That's like saying, "man, running the bases is just like playing baseball." Really?!...... Jack hole?! That's incredible!! How about "I went bowling today and played a shitty game and made three strikes! It felt just like i was happy!" oh brother.

Ya know, feelin happy is kind of a metaphor for............

Sniff Sniff

lost and left to find a home.
rememberences.
stippling.

FUCK OFF!!! calm down and go eat some ice cream

If one more thing in life decides to jump out at me, and say "boo!" I'm going to kick it in the balls!! Spit in my face and watch how i stand and stare at you, waiting for your next move. All you can do is kill me. I'm not broke, I'm not homeless, I'm not without food, I'm not dancing but i can deal with that for a day, I'm not as crazy, I'm not in school, and I'm not pregnant. So Goddamnit, its been a good month. :)